Thursday, December 10, 2009

One year old toddler will not go to sleep...even late at night!?

My daughter will be one next week. She is a ery intelligent baby and very advanced for her age. She has alwasy been quit high strung and sensitie but lately she refuses to sleep at all, on her own. I have always put her to sleep by holding her and feeding her a bottle and then laying her in her crib. She has been sleeping in her own crib in her room for about 7 to 8 months with no problems generally. Now, I spent hours trying to settle her down for bed , then i finally get her to let me hold her and sometimes she falls asleep and I put her in her crib but even then, she wakes up about 20 mins later crying. Smetimes I just take her to bed with us because it gets so late and se just falls right to sleep in our bed. I have tried everything from warm baths and massages, there is a nightlight in her room, nothing works. Why is she suddenly so dependant on me!



P.s. Also, during the day, she is very attatached to me, i cant get up from the couch with out her panicing.have i ruined my child ?



One year old toddler will not go to sleep...even late at night!?binoculars



Hi! Toddlers thrive on routine. Establish a very precise bedtime routine with her. Snack, bath, stories, bed. (or whatever you want) Give her options. Even a one year old is capable of making simple decisions such as what PJs to wear, what stories to read, etc. Have a set time for each section: 15 min for snack, 30 for bath, 15 for stories, etc. Give her a five minute warning before you transition into the next activity. Then give her a three minute, two minute, one minute warning. And stick to it. If you say time's up, then time's up. As for sleeping, put her in her crib fully awake. Sit next to her but do not hold her. Reassure her, pat her back, sing, whatever you want. The next night, move a bit closer to the door. When that's a success, move even closer to when you're eventually out the door. This may take a week or two but she'll eventually understand that you're there but that you're not going to pick her up. Also, do not try to get her to sleep by drinking a bottle. This can become a very bad habit that can be hard to break as she gets older. Instead, offer her a sippy cup before bedtime explaining that she'll be soon going to bed. Another question is could she be ready for a toddler bed?? In answer to your dependent question: She may sense that you're tense or bothered. Maybe you're going through a stressful time? It's normal for a child to do this. It's a completely normal developmental step. Give her some time and she'll work through it. I wouldn't cave in to the sleeping in the bed or rocking her to sleep. This only enables the behavior. I hope this helps. Good luck!



One year old toddler will not go to sleep...even late at night!?violin opera theater



Enjoy this period because later you will miss it. However, try cutting down on naps throughout the day.
Sounds like you have one spoiled 1 year old. I never had this problem. My kids always slept in their own cribs. Have you let her cry in her crib for a couple of minutes or tried rubbing her tummy or back as she is crying in the crib? Other than that I cant help. I am sorry.



Good luck.
You haven't ruined your child but you need a little tough love.



You need to put her down to bed and make her stay, when she starts crying let her, she will stop when she gets too tired to cry and fall asleep. Continue to do that untill she doesn't play that game with you anymore, it will probably take a few weeks but will be worth it in the long run and crying won't hurt her, just make sure she is safe in her bed and let her cry.



Buy yourself some good earplugs you will need them for awhile but as long as you pick her up or run to her and even worse let her sleep with you, she will continue.



She knows how to push your buttons and she is pushing as much as she can for your complete attention, she needs to learn she can't have it, what will happen if you have another child, she will need to learn to share your attention. So you need to teach her now before it's too late.
You've been making it too easy for her. Instead of putting her down to fall asleep on her own, you've been pampering her, so she hasn't gotten used to it. I was guilty of doing the same thing with my son.



You have to start allowing her to sleep on her own. It is not going to be easy and you may have a couple of nights without much sleep, but it will be worth it in the long run.



You can prepare her for bed by giving her a warm bath and bottle. Then lay her down to go to sleep. Place her in her crib and walk away. She may cry, but she has to learn to console herself. Check on her in about 5 minutes, just to let her know that you are there, but don't pick her up or anything. Then each time you check on her increase it by 5 additional minutes, until she goes to sleep. It's hard, but you have to remain consistent.



Hope it works for you!
No, you havent ruined your child. But it sounds like because you have let her in your bed a few times, she knows that if she puts up a big enough fit, eventually you'll give in. What I did with mine, was put them in their crib and walk away. Its important for children to learn how to comfort themselves. If they cried for more than 15 or 20 min (at age 1) I would go check on them and make sure that everything was ok. But if they just wanted me to come get them I would say , "I love you its time to go night night" In a really sweet voice, lay them down and walk away. Of coarse they would get up again but eventually they got so worn out of crying, they would cry them self to sleep. Its hard the first few nights, but it doesn't last long. If you keep firm it'll go alot easier.
You haven't ruined your child. A this age she's really starting her separation anxiety, and studies have shown that children with above average intelligence sleep worse - they just can't shut their brains down well.



If you're not opposed to letting her cry it out, I would suggest doing that. Commit to one week of doing the same exact routine at the same time every night: start with a warm bath, give her a massage, read a few books, sing a song, then put her in bed while she's awake. If she's screaming, just tell her she's okay and that it's night time, then check on her after 5 minutes. DO NOT pick her up, but just pat her a while, tell her she's okay, and quickly leave. Then do it again after 10 minutes, then 15, etc. The next night wait 10 minutes before going in the first time, then night 3 wait 15 minutes, etc.



This really should work. If you know she's not sick, hungry, or wet, you can absolutely let her cry. She needs to learn to self soothe at this point, and unless you let her learn how to do it, you'll all have terrible nights for a long time to come. Good luck!
The previous answers have pretty well covered it:



ROUTINE! ROUTINE! ROUTINE!



Be Consistent! (do NOT cave!)



However, I do have some additional suggestions:



Add a lovey and some music or white noise to your bedtime routine. A lovey provides a sense of security when you're not there. Putting music on the "repeat all" setting will provide reassurance when she awakes later on and will help her go back to sleep. Make sure to use the same lovey and the same music every night. And do NOT play the music unless she is going to bed *for the night*. Also, my son LOVES the lighted, rotating, laser-etched crystal thing in his room. The light changes color and acts as a night light and a soft light show, giving him something to look at as he falls asleep. You might try something similar.



Oh, and I'm sure someone else said this, but just in case: Do not put her to bed already asleep. She should be drowsy but not asleep.



Good luck!

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